June 14, 2016 News

Iggy Azalea Epically Banished To Next Level Of Lucrative Career

After finally coming to terms with the fact that, clearly, nobody likes her or her music, Iggy Azalea announced recently that she will be limping back to her home country of Australia, bruised ego intact, to be a judge on the Australian version of the incredibly popular X-Factor franchise. The news of the so-called rapper’s departure caused many Americans to celebrate as they sent Iggy Azalea packing to the next, high-paid level of her successful career.

“It will definitely be the longest I’ve been in Australia in probably 10 years,” said Azalea, who seems to have finally gotten the hint that nobody wants her around here anymore, so she will soon make a humiliating retreat to the comforts of her home halfway across the world to make an easy, profitable living as a reality show judge. This slight career change comes on the heels of news that her second studio album, Digital Distortion—which probably won’t be as successful as her debut but will undoubtedly make her lots of money—has been delayed by a whole month.

“I thought it would be good to come back to Australia and have an opportunity to spend some time there and obviously see my family,” said the fleeing failure with her tail between her legs, failing to acknowledge that the real reason she’s leaving is because we think she’s not that great, and our opinion is very important.

If only every other pop star we didn’t like would wise up and realize that if we don’t particularly care for what they do professionally, they should fly as far away from us as possible and continue being incredibly successful and having more money than we could even dream of while spending quality time with their loved ones.

For now, we’ll just have to settle for Iggy Azalea and say goodbye to her totally bad music that we don’t like but lots of other people seem to, and wish her luck with whatever other lame projects she’s got coming up that will assuredly continue to make her very happy and successful.

Bye, loser!