February 10, 2016 So Hot Right Now

So Hot Right Now: Crotchless Pants

Hollywood stars are constantly trying to push the envelope with their sexy fashions, but lately trendsetters have been rocking a look so racy, it could make even the most open-minded fashionista blush!

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The co-creator of Girls is known for her fearless and provocative style, but we never dreamed that we’d actually see Lena Dunham out and about in completely crotchless pants like these! We get it, Lena: You’re edgy. No need to cut the crotch out of your pants to prove it.

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First chaps, and now this? We’d like to say we can’t believe that Kylie Jenner had the audacity to attend the Golden Globes in these enormous pants with the bottom cut out and leg seams sewn together. But honestly, is there anything her family won’t do for attention?

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Get a load of Amy Schumer in this crotchless romper at the Hollywood Film Awards! The bottom of this garment is completely open. And judging by the mischievous look on her face, Schumer’s raunchy crotchless-ness appears to be deliberate and not the result of a terrible, pants-ripping merry-go-round accident. Amy, we love your sex-positive message and all, but shouldn’t some things be left to the imagination?

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This is exactly as we feared. First some popular stars go crotchless for the attention, and suddenly everyone else is falling all over themselves to follow suit. Just look at this model from Paris Fashion Week. The poor woman probably waited her whole life to walk the runway in couture pleated pants, only to have her dream snatched away by some fad-happy French designer who confuses the shock of an open-air crotchless style with actual innovation.

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And it just gets worse! Apparently even ultra-conservative 19 Kids And Counting star Michelle Duggar has been so corrupted by embracing celebrity, she doesn’t even wear regular pants anymore. Duggar now wears crotchless pants exclusively—and so do all of the women in Duggar’s so-called Christian family. What’s more, they actually use the Bible to justify their perverted fashion fetish, claiming that women wearing pants whose crotches are intact violates biblical gender roles! People have used religion to try to rationalize a lot of awful things, but indoctrinating your daughters to believe crotchless pants are God’s will? That’s easily the sickest thing anyone in the Duggar family has ever done!

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And now Amal Clooney is wearing crotchless pants to meet with the president of the fucking Maldives?! We would have thought that, of all people, a smart, professional woman like Amal would know that nobody takes you seriously if you go out in public looking like this. We guess marrying a movie star means throwing your career right out the window!

Ladies, don’t let this happen to you. Please keep the crotches in your pants where they belong!