January 21, 2016 Slideshow

13 Jared Leto Photos To Briefly Quell America’s Oddly Insatiable Urge To See Jared Leto

With the buildup to Suicide Squad in full swing, it seems like Jared Leto is everywhere! Though really, it seems like he’s always everywhere, turning up again and again as part of America’s strange, inexplicable need to see Jared Leto at all times. Here are 13 photos that we hope satisfy that need, however fleetingly.

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Jared Leto is an actor, frontman of the band 30 Seconds To Mars, and—if his materializing out of thin air at the mere presence of a camera is any indication—a person whom America has a gnawing, bottomless need to see at all times. So here he is, in a photo taken at the iHeartRadio Music Festival last fall. We hope this satisfies that apparently voracious desire, however momentarily.

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Frankly, we’re not sure where that need comes from. Sure, Leto had a pretty big year when he won the Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club, and he has a solid body of work in cult films like Fight Club and Requiem For A Dream—and people clearly like his band (even though we don’t really get that either). There are also probably a lot of My So-Called Life fans kicking around out there. Still, it doesn’t fully explain why, say, Jared Leto had to be at Glamour’s Women Of The Year Awards.

Anyway, our bafflement aside, obviously there’s some sort of constant demand for Jared Leto that must be fulfilled. So here we are.

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After all, even in the wake of the Paris attacks, a nation’s lonely eyes turned to Leto, apparently, as he was called upon to pay tribute to the victims at the American Music Awards because … he’s a musician, we guess? And he played that same nightclub one time?

Hey, whatever. The people have spoken. They seem to regard Jared Leto as a sort of security blanket, and his presence must give them some modicum of comfort; otherwise he wouldn’t be absolutely everywhere at all times. Who are we to question that? We can only hope to give them the Jared Leto they innately crave like a mother’s touch.

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See? Even the Wall Street Journal had to have Jared Leto at its Innovator Awards to present a trophy to the guy who invented Slack—sure, because he’s an investor in the company, but also because he’s Jared Leto. Does Jared Leto have any actual use for a group chat software, you think? Who cares? He’s Jared Leto! He and his wacky clothes must be seen; otherwise America will get bored and wander over to Google Hangouts or something.

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Oh, for fuck’s sake …

No, no. We’re sure Jared Leto also had a good reason to be a guest speaker at the Fast Company Innovation Festival, and that everyone really learned a lot from his thoughts on “The Power Of Design.” There’s no point in our questioning that, or suggesting that, hey, he could maybe sit out a few rounds. Jared Leto is just giving the people what they clearly want.

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Okay, we officially don’t get it. Here’s Jared Leto at the PEN Center USA’s 25th Annual Literary Awards Festival, which we weren’t even aware existed. All these photos were taken within like a three-month span, by the way. Is Jared Leto just not allowed to say no to things? Is the nation’s appetite for Jared Leto so unquenchable that he absolutely has to be visible at all times? Will you not let him rest?!

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Fine! Here he is with Anna Kendrick, another person you can never get enough of! Will this placate you, however briefly?!

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And here he is with Victoria Beckham, who is also famous and frequently photographed! Perhaps these will appease the rapacious beast!

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Now he’s standing next to a visibly defeated Kanye West, as Kanye accepts that being photographed next to Jared Leto is the toll that must be exacted from all celebrities! See this photo and know that Jared Leto still exists! He surrounds us and binds us! All things flow through him!

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“For where is the Jared Leto of that gentleness, lowliness and affability? And, as time requireth, a Jared Leto of marvelous mirth and pastimes, and sometime of as sad gravity. A Jared Leto for all seasons!”

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LOOK! IT’S JARED LETO ON THE BEACH! THE WAVES CREST AND FALL, AND WITH THEM JARED LETO—ALWAYS JARED LETO—AS CONSTANT AS THE TIDE!

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And hey, America is not alone in its need to see Jared Leto! Even beyond our borders, the masses cry out for photos of him—even if it means taking those photos themselves, to supplement the endless stream that nevertheless cannot slake their thirst!

So okay, world. We accept that we cannot hope to understand your need for Jared Leto photos—only that you do need them. We’ve given up asking why.

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After all, it would be like asking why an orange is an orange, or why Jared Leto brought an orange to whatever the hell this was. He simply did and it simply is—and the call to see Jared Leto, to have him dragged out for public viewing, is simply there, a steady drone in the background of our lives that is temporarily quieted but never silenced.

We can only pray this slideshow was enough to buy a moment’s peace, for however long it lasts.