Anna Kendrick is one star we just can’t get enough of looking at, even if it doesn’t do much to drown out the all-consuming terror that we are well and truly fucked.
Anna Kendrick is one of our favorite stars for many reasons. As whip-smart as she is beautiful, she also seems genuinely fun—like the kind of celebrity you could just pal around with, trading quips over trashy TV and constantly breaking into spontaneous giggles. Whenever we see her, she just gives us a good feeling! It’s almost enough to push aside the ever-present sensation that things are even now hurtling toward a cataclysmic end. Though, not quite.
Wherever she goes, Anna Kendrick just gives off a vibe like she can’t quite believe she’s famous, like she’s offering a little sly wink at the sublime ridiculousness of it all. Notice how she seems to be subtly flipping off the camera at this silly Trolls event? It’s like she’s saying, “I get how stupid this is, but ohmygod this is also the funniest thing ever!” And we can’t help but laugh with her, because it’s the only thing that pushes the constant thought of looming apocalypse from our anxiety-riddled brains, if even just for a second.
Don’t get us wrong: Anna can do sexy, too! But it’s an approachable kind of sexy, like the kind of girl you’d feel comfortable walking up to in a bar and saying, “Help me, please, help me. I feel like every day is only bringing the world closer to the brink and I’m so fucking scared.”
See? Even when Anna goes for traditional glamour, there’s still a hint of playfulness to her that suggests she can’t wait to be done with all this red carpet nonsense so she can get home, shrug off her gown and ditch those uncomfortable heels, then spend hours staring in abject horror at CNN as it’s flooded with reports of mass shootings, sectarian violence, and Donald Trump whipping a terrified populace into a paranoid, blindly lock-stepping frenzy of scattershot hatred and panicked gun buying.
But we’re not going to think about that! We’re going to think about how absolutely elegant Anna Kendrick looks in this classically understated dress, and not the fact that we wake up every morning to another horrifying news alert on our phone that fills us with the sense that, one of these days, we’re going to learn that our city’s streets are filled with fire and corpses from one of these tiny, dispassionate little text boxes, and we’re simply not going to feel anything. We’ll see that 1,000 people were gunned down at a street fair or a bomb went off in a Chuck E. Cheese and we’ll just think, “Yep, that’s pretty much what we would have expected from this godforsaken shitshow of a planet. I mean, in the span of just a few days, Orlando—home of ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’—saw a madman kill that girl from The Voice, another asshole murder 49 more innocents in a nightclub, and an alligator drag a toddler to its death. So yeah, why wouldn’t this parade of human misery continue marching toward its inexorable conclusion?”
Come on, Anna Kendrick! Help us forget about this shit for one fucking second!
No! Stop intruding on Anna Kendrick, reality!
Well, you tried, Anna Kendrick. You are adorable and we love you, but goddamnit, right now everything feels like the end times, and you are simply not enough.